I took these photos yesterday and I'll be honest, I didn't want to share them after I saw them. I went into this knowing and anticipating that I would not like them but I did not anticipate hating them.
I saw every flaw I had in my mind. I saw the 158 pounds with 30 pounds of over weight fat. I saw the stretch marks from carrying two children to term. I saw the weight gain from the hormonal treatments I went through for surrogacy. I saw thighs that used to be full of muscle. I saw messy hair. I saw pale skin that only turns pink and never tan.
WHO would want to see this? Not me. I didn't like them and almost refused to do this post.
But in light of National Bikini Day I decided I should post it. Why? Because someone out there would kill to look like I do. Someone would kill for confidence to wear a two-piece again. Someone would be thankful that I didn't hide behind the dress I typically would wear over my suit. Someone wishes they could gain a little weight or have curves. Someone, somewhere, wishes for the body that I hate.
So I decided to share.
Being confident in who I am is more important to me that how I look to others. That confidence is what fuels me.
I'm going on a bachelorette weekend in two weeks with some pretty beautiful - okay drop dead gorgeous - girls and I envy their bodies. If I didn't have even a smidge of confidence, I'm not sure how I could survive a beach weekend with these babes.
So in two weeks expect more bikini pics. I'll stand side-by-side with some of my longest friends and not be ashamed at what this body has been through.
And so should you. If your confidence is wearing that two-piece, the do it. If it is going out in tankini and skirt, then do it. If it is wearing your cover-up the entire time, then do it.
But don't hold back just because your body is not what you want it to be.
Don't allow your insecurities hold you out on experiencing life. Whether it be a bachelorette with your friends or a summer vacation with your littles.
Wear that bathing suit and get out there.
Experience life today for me <3