I have high functioning anxiety as well as high functioning depression. This means that I constantly find myself adding more and more things to my days. When I'm busy I'm happy. However, I also have health issues and after trying to be supermom/superwoman for a while my body says it's had enough.
We've all been there. You're momming and running life so hard, things are going great then one day you hit a brick wall and all that you've been juggling comes crashing down.
Those days are hard. It's the days when you feel like your world is crumbling. It's these days, when you definitely know that you aren't supermom, that are some of hardest ones to get through. These are the days when you question your every decision, the days that you question if you're doing anything right, the days when you feel like giving up or giving in. That's where I am right now, but I can tell you one thing with certainty - the one thing I will not do is give up. I'm struggling in every part of my life currently, but I know - without a doubt - that everything will all work out.
I'm messy, clumsy, imperfect and I don't feel anything close to supermom BUT when I see myself through my son's eyes I see the mom that I'm striving to be. He sees what matters and not all of the superficial things. He knows that I I would spend every second with him if I could and he knows how much he's loved.
I'm busy, short tempered and a little distant because I'm overly exhausted BUT my husband takes it in stride. He tells me how amazing I am even though I'm a blubbering emotional mess lately.
None of us are super to ourselves, but take a step back and look at the bigger picture. See yourself though your loved one's eyes. Take a deep breath. Fall into your faith and let peace take over.
Have you ever wondered what you would tell your 12 year old self if you could time travel? If you had the chance would do it? Would you chance changing your future? I think about things like this at times - especially right now since I'm super into the Flash series!
If I decided to risk it and go back to tell 12 year old me anything, this is what it would be:
Don't be intimidated by those with more confidence than you - this doesn't mean that they are stuck up, it just means that they have learned a very crucial, valuable lesson sooner than you have. One day you're going to decide that high school isn't for you, that's fine, get your GED and start the next chapter. It's okay if you don't know what you want to be until you're in your twenties, stop thinking you're stupid because of it, you will get there! You're hardheaded and you're going to learn everything the hard way, it's going to cause your heart to break hundreds of times, but you'll get through it and come out stronger - just hang in there. Boys are not the answer. That high you get when they say you're pretty or that they love you - it eventually goes away. Learn to love yourself. Tell mom and dad that you need therapy. When they don't listen don't wait until it's forgotten about and pick up a medicine bottle as a cry for help, keep at them. Eventually you can make them understand, they love you and will always be there for you. Keep in touch with your friends better, one day you're going to really need them and, if you don't watch out, when that day comes you won't have many in your corner. Don't change how passionate you are, better yet, don't change anything about yourself. Sure you're loud and silly at times, but it's part of YOU. Don't be embarrassed about that! RE-evaluate the people you call your friends in a few years and stop making excuses for them. Go to church more.
If we're being completely honest, I would never take the risk, but I still wonder what might have happened if I had been given the above advice from my future self. Since it would be coming from me - would I have actually listened and applied it to my life?
Hello! I’m Hilarie!
I am a wife, mother, an assistant, and now a blogger! I am so exciting to relaunch Jacksonville Housewives in the city.
I love the beach, coffee, marketing and meeting new friends. I cannot wait to meet y’all!