To the girl who is all grown up and still daddy’s little girl. I envy you in every sense there is. Growing up I was daddy’s little princess. I grew up doing everything he did. I played in the garage even went to work with you when you had to go in on Saturday’s. I wanted to spend every chance I could with you. Just to make sure I always had that spot of daddy’s little girl. I get it we grow up and life changes happen. But it was more like poof that relationship and bond was gone within the blink of an eye. I get envious when I see my friends on Facebook post with pictures of them spending time with their fathers thinking at one point in my life I thought I would be that girl too. Like I said before that relationship that I had with my dad was gone in the blink of an eye. Yeah I’m sure that it could come back, but it wouldn’t be the same bond, maybe it could but I feel now that I’m older the bond would feel forced and not natural. Growing up before my parents got a divorce it was clear how the bonds between parent and child were. I was daddy’s little girl and my brother was a mommy’s boy. Growing up they swore that they loved us both equally but I knew in my heart and in my head that my father loved me in a different way than my brother and my mom had that connection with my brother. I never felt the bond with my mom like I did with my dad. I honestly think that’s why I wasn’t upset when my mom left my dad for the last time and took my brother with her and left me with my dad. I was 14 at the time and was already in that awkward stage in my life that was the last issue I wanted to keep me up at night. But then we fast forward a few years I’m having a casual conversation with my dad and he finally feels he is ready to date. I’m cool with that I’m dating a guy who I was sure was going to be the man I married one day. (oh was I wrong). But this conversation I am having with my dad I made him promise to me that no matter who he dated or remarried if that ever happened that I would always hold that number one lady spot in his life and that she wouldn’t try to be my mom. I was almost 18 and about to graduate. My grandma was the only mom figure I needed. He met a lady who he fell head over heels for. For a while I had no problem with her. We had that friendship that is ok to have with someone who could soon be a part of your family. But then it happens. That moment that blink of an eye that relationship that everything was gone. I was 18 I had graduate and thought I was in love. I did something and my dad caught me in the act. He stuck me in a car with her and she played mom. Then I was stuck for a week living with her and him at her house being treated like a prisoner. Then Sunday came and as we are sitting in the church parking lot my dad as me a question that angered me more that my mom walking out on me. I was hurt. I called my grandparents who are his parents and made them force me to come stay with them. I couldn’t bare to look at him because I was so hurt. Years keep passing and I no longer have that desire that I once had to rebuild our relationship. I just wanted to have that place in his life and not have to fight or be the only one putting in the effort to rebuild. That’s why I envy the girls who don’t have to work for it. It’s been there since day one and no matter the life changes it still there. No matter how grown up they get that bond is still there.
Social media junkie
Tea is my addiction
I play with shears for the shear fun of it
Can't wait to mingle with all you lovely ladies