They say…it takes a village to raise a family. I have two marvelous, wonderful, smart, funny, beautiful children and I am not the best mom in the world, but I am their mom. I don’t do everything right, or remember every date, for homework, play dates, whatever, every time. My parenting technique is more yelling and semi rhetorical questions. I don’t know that it’s wrong and I don’t know that it’s right, but what it is, is mine. I don’t get to go out with my husband on date nights very often because I don’t know anyone to babysit or have a “full” time sitter and I can’t always afford the night out and the sitter at the same time. My kids don’t spend the night at their grandparent’s house, unless we are there, because distance is an issue.
My husband and I settled about 40 minutes from where my parents used to live, but when my dad died that all changed. My mom lives in town part time and part time with her new partner. She’s wonderful when she can help, but she’s not the hands on, stay around each week, routine type of Nana and that’s okay. It works for her and mostly for us. She has her own life and I have to respect that, even though I wish she was like my grandma and was always there and always okay with us being there- though she mellowed with time.
My in-laws live over 2 hours away and are involved as often as possible. They come down or we go up at least once a month. During the summer, we meet in the middle and the kids will go up for a day or two alone. They are wonderful, just too far.
Simply put, my kids are not used being away from us. What I wouldn’t give to have a village. Stressed, tired, overworked, one mom away from crying…that’s where I live my life…but it’s mine and I wouldn’t change it.
When I was little I remember going to my grandma’s all the time or with cousins, friends of the family, etc. I also remember being home a lot. My parents definitely had a village, but my husband and I just don’t. That’s just how it is and that’s okay, because there are no other options.
We have a small army. Him and me. A little bit of help when they can and that’s enough.
Hey, girl, hey!