Stephen Hawking once said, "We live in a bewildering world." As a mom, teacher, friend, life-long learner, no truer words have been uttered. It seems just as I think I have something figured out, or have hit mastery level, the world comes back up and says, "Haha, sucker, nope!"
As a wife and mother of two, 2.5 years apart, I completely underestimated how much pressure one child would put on my marriage, let alone two. I love my family, deeply. I love the man I married, the lives that we created, but I would be lying if I said I would do it all again in a heartbeat...it might take two, or three.
My husband and I are not the young, full of energy, excited kids we once were- who had an optimistic and unrealistic view of the future. We are now exhausted parents, barreling toward middle age, trying to raise responsible adults with zero sights set to the future, except to survive each day, week, month.
Last weekend, our exhaustion and frustration of parenting, being tired, having dealt with 3 weeks of the flu, caught up with us in an EPIC way. It was a very unpleasant conversation, argument, that lead to tears, hateful hard words, and both of us in our separate corners licking our wounds to keep them fresh. While licking these wounds and passing one another in silence through the day, play acting in front of the kids all day so they didn't pick up on the situation, it occurred to me, I have mastered much of anything. In fact, I am not sure that I ever will. '
What this EPIC battle lead to, after the wounds started to heal were that we needed time to focus on us, our relationship, who we are together and separate. We need to take time to go out, just the two of us and enjoy our food. We need to discuss our parenting expectations and not expect the other to be a mind reader. We need to not take each other for granted and remember that we are on an exciting, bewildering ride, but we are together.
It's time to push down the safety bar, throw our arms in the air, and enjoy the ride. Life is more than survival and it's time to refocus on all the good it has to offer.
Hey, girl, hey!