They say…it takes a village to raise a family. I have two marvelous, wonderful, smart, funny, beautiful children and I am not the best mom in the world, but I am their mom. I don’t do everything right, or remember every date, for homework, play dates, whatever, every time. My parenting technique is more yelling and semi rhetorical questions. I don’t know that it’s wrong and I don’t know that it’s right, but what it is, is mine. I don’t get to go out with my husband on date nights very often because I don’t know anyone to babysit or have a “full” time sitter and I can’t always afford the night out and the sitter at the same time. My kids don’t spend the night at their grandparent’s house, unless we are there, because distance is an issue.
My husband and I settled about 40 minutes from where my parents used to live, but when my dad died that all changed. My mom lives in town part time and part time with her new partner. She’s wonderful when she can help, but she’s not the hands on, stay around each week, routine type of Nana and that’s okay. It works for her and mostly for us. She has her own life and I have to respect that, even though I wish she was like my grandma and was always there and always okay with us being there- though she mellowed with time.
My in-laws live over 2 hours away and are involved as often as possible. They come down or we go up at least once a month. During the summer, we meet in the middle and the kids will go up for a day or two alone. They are wonderful, just too far.
Simply put, my kids are not used being away from us. What I wouldn’t give to have a village. Stressed, tired, overworked, one mom away from crying…that’s where I live my life…but it’s mine and I wouldn’t change it.
When I was little I remember going to my grandma’s all the time or with cousins, friends of the family, etc. I also remember being home a lot. My parents definitely had a village, but my husband and I just don’t. That’s just how it is and that’s okay, because there are no other options.
We have a small army. Him and me. A little bit of help when they can and that’s enough.
Stephen Hawking once said, "We live in a bewildering world." As a mom, teacher, friend, life-long learner, no truer words have been uttered. It seems just as I think I have something figured out, or have hit mastery level, the world comes back up and says, "Haha, sucker, nope!"
As a wife and mother of two, 2.5 years apart, I completely underestimated how much pressure one child would put on my marriage, let alone two. I love my family, deeply. I love the man I married, the lives that we created, but I would be lying if I said I would do it all again in a heartbeat...it might take two, or three.
My husband and I are not the young, full of energy, excited kids we once were- who had an optimistic and unrealistic view of the future. We are now exhausted parents, barreling toward middle age, trying to raise responsible adults with zero sights set to the future, except to survive each day, week, month.
Last weekend, our exhaustion and frustration of parenting, being tired, having dealt with 3 weeks of the flu, caught up with us in an EPIC way. It was a very unpleasant conversation, argument, that lead to tears, hateful hard words, and both of us in our separate corners licking our wounds to keep them fresh. While licking these wounds and passing one another in silence through the day, play acting in front of the kids all day so they didn't pick up on the situation, it occurred to me, I have mastered much of anything. In fact, I am not sure that I ever will. '
What this EPIC battle lead to, after the wounds started to heal were that we needed time to focus on us, our relationship, who we are together and separate. We need to take time to go out, just the two of us and enjoy our food. We need to discuss our parenting expectations and not expect the other to be a mind reader. We need to not take each other for granted and remember that we are on an exciting, bewildering ride, but we are together.
It's time to push down the safety bar, throw our arms in the air, and enjoy the ride. Life is more than survival and it's time to refocus on all the good it has to offer.
Spring is coming. Oh my, it's March and spring is on the horizon! Here's a few of my favorite things about spring!!
1. Warmer weather: I hate the in between, I like the coolness of the mornings and warmth of the afternoon during spring; but, not the wishy washy of the time before spring settles in...
2. Spring means baseball season and I love going down to the stadium to catch a game!
3. The fresh growth: when plants begin to bloom and trees begin to blossom, it's so refreshing to watch the world come to color again!
4. Easter: I love easter and spending time with the family, letting the kids hunt for eggs!
5. Spring takes us closer to summer and I LOOOOOOOVVVVEEE summer, so bring on spring! I need all the vitamin D in my life...
Is it weird that even though I mentioned two seasons, referenced another, my favorite, my all time favorite, is fall!!!
What about you?
Last night we kicked off our 2018 Girls Night Out season! We had some fabulous businesses being spotlighted. If you missed it and would like to shop any of these lovely ladies, you will find information about them below!! From boutiques, to the ever comfortable LLR, lips that won't quit, nail designs galore and a little romance, our event had it all!
Thanks to Blueberry Hill and the Elivs room for hosting us!!
Pink Cactus Boutique: Tiffany Ferguson: Pinkcactusboutiqueonline.com
LulaRoe: Charity Keller: firstname.lastname@example.org
Lipsense: Jodi Huffman: (636)234.1994: Limitlesslipstick@gmail.com
Color Street: email@example.com
Pure Romance: Bobbi Essinger: www.pureromance.com/BobbiEssinger
Nearing out 14th Valentine's Day together, I have to tell you, I am not sure what else we can do that we haven't already done.
Flowers: check, got them, but I don't ever prefer to have them because as lovely as they are, I am not in one place long enough to enjoy them, and after a week..well....
Candy: um yes, ALL THE CANDY!! But, alas, I am trying to cut back on the sweets at this point, so this is a no go.
Cards: I do so love cards. I have a drawer and a tub full. So, this is always a win.
Gift Certificates: these are good; I can always use these.
Concert tickets: This is good, but a little expensive.
A getaway: Also good, but lining up sitters, time, schedules is a little more difficult than I want sometimes.
Clothes/Sexy stuff: I prefer to buy my own.
Dinner Out: a favorite, but finding a sitter is hard.
Sometimes, just an hour together, after the kids go to bed is just enough, perfect.
What are your favorites or least favorites?
For as long as I can remember, I have been reading...I love to read. I read everything from text books, to romance, to sic-fi, to the news. I just enjoy the printed words on the page.
Lately, within the last six months, I have gotten into Diana Gabaldon's "Outlander." Once I finished with the books, I moved to the Starz television show. I cannot tell you how much I am in love with these characters, this history, the show. There's too much and not enough that I could say about all the beauty this story, both on and off screen, offers. It is simply amazing. Jamie and Claire are the ultimate couple. It's set, at first, in Scotland. I dream of visiting. There's so much action, love, adventure, friendship, and heart poured into the story. Even my husband has gotten into the show. Neither of the main characters are uneasy on the eyes, so that's always a perk! I could gush all day.
If you haven't picked it up and tried, you should. Reading not for you, jump online and watch the show. It's ALL good.
What are you reading? What's your go to show?
Here's a picture of some of the cast and my birthday is coming up, so it seems fitting.
It's almost upon us. Football widows everywhere will soon have their Thursday's and Sunday's back with their husbands. As such a wife, his interest doesn't bother me or affect my plans at all, but the big dance is coming.
Traditions and parties are in the making, right as we speak. We have never gone anywhere, besides my parents house for the Super Bowl, but we do have some of the same traditions from that time to this time.
He watches the game, intently, yells, throws his arms up in the air (wave em around like ya just don't care), sorry, momentary distraction.
I prepare food, but let's face it, food. Any excuse to have it, I am all for it!
I run from wherever I am in the house when I hear the commercials come on! Each year, at least lately, I have been a little disappointed, but still I run.
The newest tradition, which is only a few years old, is my favorite. The half time show. The kids demand the tv be on full blast and we dance to every song, the entire time. Every half time show in the last few years has been good, because it's been background noise to fodder my children's laughter.
So, what am I making this year...probably a big heaping pot of my secret spaghetti sauce for spaghetti. I will lay out a tray of veggies and dip; meats and cheeses; and some sort of pie.
What about you, how do you celebrate game day?
We are 3 weeks into 2018. Wow. I am not sure if that feels super-fast or super slow. What it is, is. 2018 is not starting off as the FABULOUS year I would like it to be. I know that, if last night is any indication, tonight will be heart wrenching, gut wrenching and leave a gaping tear in my heart. Tears have been shed and there will be more to come.
You see, today, today I am going to have to do something I had hoped would never come to pass. Today, after 17.5 years, I will go home, and for the first time, the world's best friend will not be there. Today, this afternoon, after an hour where we cuddle, I will put down my faithful companion of 17.5 years. She will no longer prance into a room, dance in circles for a treat, scratch my hand to get more rubs, spill dog food all over the floor because she is looking for the choicest piece...these will all just be memories.
She was there through my first breakup, through any ones that came after, she was there to approve or disapprove of my husband. She was there to protect and love my babes, who became her babes. She was there when my mom was sick. She was there when my dad died. She was always there to greet me with a wag of her nub tail, a lick to the hand, and a few barks to garner attention. For so long, she has been there and tonight, she won't be. Be still my broken heart.
Today, this evening, my one constant, will not be there. She won't be there to greet me- lick tears from face, jump on my lap, whine for a treat, bark at all hours of the night. She won't be there. My brave, warrior girl, you have been the best dog a girl could have, all mighty 8 lbs of you. I am sure, if the choice were yours, you'd choose to live forever. I will love you forever. Give my daddy a wet nose to the cheek for me, my beautiful brown eyed girl.
2018 is going to go where it's going to go...
What changes would you like to see?
What would you like to read about?
What vendors/businesses would you like to see?
What would make you come to a girls night out!
Have you been to a girl's night out?
What are you looking forward to in 2018?
One year ago...
Tonight I had a hard conversation with my 6 year old...she asked who I voted for. I told her, as my father once told me, I'm your mother, I love you....the rest you don't need to know.
Darling girl (and my darling boy, when you need to know): You'll be grown up one day and have to make your own decisions. I hope you've surrounded yourself with friends that are diverse and offer a variety of views to your life. It's never your job to define them by their beliefs. You may not see eye to eye, but opposition strengthens passion. Be compassionate, be considerate, be kind. Stand firm in your resolve of who you are. Diversity defines us, passions shapes us, our friends and family, love us regardless. Even if you don't agree, be respectful. Always know you can have an opinion and you can have a different one than your friends, but we are defined by so much more. You don't have to yell and scream to make your point. You can stand tall, silent and firm. You stay true to who you are and the rest all falls into place.
Darling children of mine, your CHARACTER matters. Your COMPASSION matters. Your PASSION matters. Your KINDNESS matters. Your FAITH matters. Your LOVE matters. YOU MATTER.
Hey, girl, hey!