Have you ever had a song speak to you to your core?
To a point that you’re breaking down in tears and feeling the beat through every vein of your body?
Two weeks ago, I was driving on the interstate and had to pull over; right there on the shoulder while cars were zooming past me going 80mph. I was sobbing uncontrollably. You know, that horrific ugly sobbing when even the most waterproof mascara cannot withstand the outpouring of tears. That kind of ugly sobbing.
It hit me suddenly without warning so there I sat until it passed.
I have heard Kesha’s new song Praying multiple times. The song is her speaking out after a horrific legal battle with her former producer that she accused of drugging and raping her. She was silenced as he ultimately won the battle of legalities of contractual obligations.
Her response in Praying is a beautiful ballad of triumph. She speaks about how she has overcome the last four years. Any woman who has struggled through a hard time can relate.
I’ve never been very quiet about my turmoil of my divorce at 25 and subsequent custody issues where he eventually had his rights permanently terminated of his 6-year-old son by the state of North Carolina.
Last February he gave me an ultimatum; Either 50/50 custody or he was going to walk away. I was never against 50/50 custody however he was living a very unstable lifestyle. He was telling me he was moving for the third time in 10 weeks but he promised he would no longer miss his weeks/weekends. I told him to show he can be reliable for 6 months and we’d do it but we legal paperwork.
He was not for it. He wanted it right away or not at all.
He ultimately did not want to pay child support anymore.
I eventually told him to do what made him happy. If he was happier to leave, then go be happy. If walking out of his child’s life to no longer pay child support made him a happier person, then do it but I was not going to ever fight for him to be in his child’s life. A child that looks just like him. A child whom he has been a part of his life for the previous six years. A child that loved him unconditionally.
I never thought he would actually leave and never look back but I was not going to force anyone to be in his life either.
As I hear Kesha’s words, it speaks to every ounce of me. For the last two years, I have prayed that he would change his ways. In the early days I prayed that he would realize how important being a father physically, emotionally and financially was important. Now, I pray he has changed.
I pray that he will change and never hurt a child like he hurt his first born. I pray he does not treat his girlfriend the way he treated me. Maybe we were young but I went from a strong independent woman to a trapped childlike girl. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I felt constantly trapped and tried to escape to be told I would never amount to anything. That I was damaged and that I was unwanted.
No one should feel that way.
But I know I can only forgive so much. I have forgiven enough to be able to move on. I can never forgive the pain I continue to see on my son’s face because he thinks he did something wrong.
I can never forgive someone to walk out over child support payments.
I can never forgive someone who chose a girlfriend over their child, not once but twice, after only knowing them a few short weeks.
If you've ever felt the way I have, I hope you can be touched by a song. Music can speak to our souls and allow us to feel emotions we don't always know is there.
So if you find yourself on the side of the highway breaking down, know you are not alone. I've been there too.
Last night, about 30 bloggers and influencers from around Charlotte gathered to learn more about what lies ahead in Charlotte for the Southern Women's Show. We sampled Coffee from Community Coffee Company, Organic Juice from Food Lion, Chicken from PDQ, amazing dishes made with Chef Alyssa's specially sauces, our local Queen City Pimento, and Olive Oils from Olives on Tap. We also had a personalized style bar with Ollie & Grey.
We only met ten of the vendors of the show out of the hundreds that are in attendance this weekend!
First stop was meeting Becca from Let's Talk Towels! Let's Talk Towels has fabulous 100% Cotton towels directly from Denizli, Turkey. They are lightweight, versatile nature of the towels and hope that you will appreciate their uses as much as we do. A few of the places to use the towels are on the beach, in the grocery store, in the movie theater and as a cozy scarf in the chillier months. They also make great gifts for bridesmaids, babies and really, everyone!
However, she really got me intersted in an amazing blankets she has! I am eyeing this perfect cream one for my bedroom and teal for my living room!
Next we stopped over to Salon 42! Cara and her ladies had some girls up on the stage to get braids and curls. Then I snagged myself a new hairdryer for a whopping $20! I used it this morning so if there are any left available, you HAVE to grab one!
All this weekend you can have braids, waves or brow tutorials throughout the weekend for $10!
The Southern Women's Show has more than just the vendors. There are shows and special guests all weekend long. Saturday at 1pm, Olympic Gold Medalist Laurie Hernandez will be in attendnce. You can see the full line up from the Fire Fighter Fashion Show to Shep Rose from Southern Charm listed online.
Each morning I wake up in pain. My hips ache and my lower back feels locked. I have always wanted to invest in an expensive memory foam bed, but the price point never matched my budget. So, each year I would grab a new memory foam cover or pillow top and used it until it died. It was a quick $120 fix but within months it was wasted money.
When I started learning about the new “mattress in a box” concepts, I was so intrigued by not only the materials used but also the price. So, I dug in deeper to find the bed that was best on the market. Insert Snoozecube Bed.
I reached out to snoozecube bed to partner up with this post. I wanted to see if this new phenomenon of mattresses being shipped directly to your door were worth they hype. Were these mattresses as good as the memory foam beds from the box stores but for a fraction of the price?
First, a little backstory on me. I started having back pain around age 12 but it only got worse. During my first pregnancy I could barely walk at times so I went to get tested before the second. During these exams they learned I was developing arthritis in my spine around L2-L5. The pain was horrendous but also got me on track to getting help.
The doctors did their best in ensuring I was on the right track of healing. Although we had a great regimen figured out, it didn’t stop myself from waking up exhausted and in pain. Each night I would wake up and need more sleep and some days I would sleep in until noon just to feel like I got enough sleep. 12-14 hours of sleep and I would still be exhausted.
Sleep is the most important part of being healthy. Adults should sleep an average of 8-9 hours of good sleep per night. My 12+ hours were interrupted with tossing, turning and trying to figure out if I was hot or cold. I would wake up multiple times a night to readjust.
I work from home as well. I love to just spend the morning sitting in bed, watching Netflix and answering emails. Within 30 minutes, my hips would have excruciating pain so I would need either lay down or move to my office sans Netflix and blankets.
Since sleeping on the snoozecube bed, I have gone to be at 10pm and woke up at 8am each morning – refreshed. Something I have not done in years. I have sat in bed an entire Friday working and answering emails without my hips going numb. I have gone to the chiropractor and he saw immediate results from a good night’s sleep.
A good night sleep was the answer to all my issues.
It’s more than just the best sleep of my life that makes me love this bed, there are some techy stuff that caught my eyes too!
Oh – and the customer service. We had a few questions and had answers almost immediately. I cannot think of the last time I needed help from a big company and didn’t have to jump through hoops.
I can’t forget the best part. My little was jealous of our bed. He said it was like sleeping on clouds so we got one for him too. He now is a proud owner of a snoozecube bed himself. He tells everyone he meets how much he loves his new bed and that they should have one too.
Take his advice. Get one yourself today!
While all thoughts are my own, this post was done as part of a partnership with snoozecube bed 🙂
No. Just No.
Very, very few cases of surrogacy are due to career or body issues. VERY FEW. I’ve only heard personally of three surrogates carrying due to those reasons. But guess what, it's still their choice to do so.
But that certainly isn’t the case here. The fact that it has been brought up is disgusting. She publicly went through two horrific pregnancies and surgeries after both to try and conceive again. She has a HOLE in her UTERUS. She’s had blood transfusions. She had her placenta scrapped from her uterus because it wouldn’t release. Her doctor told her that she had a major chance of dying while trying again.
Yall. That’s intense.
I wouldn’t want to die trying to have a child.
Surrogacy is normally the last chance effort for families. It isn’t a spur of the moment decision. These parents have gone through testing, meetings, crying nights and financial discussions.
Yes. Financial discussions.
Surrogacy costs on average 90-130k. Costs can vary based on many factors. The surrogate may not have surrogacy friendly insurance, therefore either a new coverage will need to be obtained during open enrollment and paid for by the intended parents or the intended parents will pay cash for all services.
Also, the first transfer of the embryo may fail. And maybe the second. And maybe the third. They may need to make new embryos. Each failed transfer and each new egg retrieval + fertilization costs money. There is only a 60% chance on average that an IVF procedure will result in pregnancy whether you transfer one or two embryos. Transferring two only increase the result of multiples – which is risky.
Even as a celebrity, no one wants to fork out that cash to have a child. But they do it. People take out second and third mortgages, max credit cards and borrow. In most states, surrogacy IVF treatments are not covered in the insurance. Actually, IVF treatments aren’t covered at all in most states.
Don’t tell someone they need to adopt.
Would you tell your newly married heterosexual couple friends that they should adopt instead of conceiving the “natural” way? Nope. You would never tell them what to do in their bedroom or how to procreate their family. So don’t tell the infertile.
It is not the burden of the infertile to carry the weight of the orphaned on their back.
Oh and adoption isn’t cheap either.
Adoptions are seriously expensive as well and it isn’t guaranteed you’ll have a child. Surrogacy isn’t either and there are natural risks that can happen but for the most part, once you hit the viability stage of pregnancy, it is very likely you’ll have a child in your home.
You definitely will know you’ll leave a hospital with a child in your arms unlike in adoptions where the birth mom has 48 hours to decide post birth.
We’re not Lifetime Movies
Bless it. I love Lifetime for some juicy crazy drama but too many think their dramas are the real deal. There’s never a good surrogacy story or outcome on television or in movies.
That also includes the news. Some surrogates do go off their rocker but it boils down to missed steps each and every time. Please don't judge surrogates on a few bad apples and television drama.
Surrogacy is in the Relationship
Each relationship between surrogate and IPs are different. Some become lifelong friendships and others turn out to be more professional. Both are okay. However before anyone stabs a needle in their stomach or hip, you go through a lot of testing. You do medical testing. You go through multiple psychological tests and therapy meetings.
You have a contract that is legally binding. You list out each situation that may occur and how it is handled. They contracts are – on average – 25-50 pages in length. I was uncompensated and ours was still 29 pages long and I have seen contracts at upwards of 89 pages. The more details involved the better. You’ll both have representation to look out for your best interests so there shouldn’t be questions or issues when a situation comes up.
The Law isn’t always on our side.
Very few states are very surrogacy friendly, California being one of them. Here in North and South Carolina, we do not have laws for or against surrogacy. That essentially means if something were to come up and when parents apply for a Pre-Birth Order, it is 100% up to the judge.
Some states have laws preventing surrogacy for certain reasons. Louisiana only allows surrogacy for heterosexual couples. New York does not allow for a surrogate to be compensated and even if they are not compensated they are notorious for making the parents adopt their biological child. Michigan do not recognize contracts and a surrogate fled there to avoid losing custody of the child.
Surrogacy is a beautiful thing. I wish others really understood what surrogates actually do. I have been called many names from a cash cow (I wasn’t even compensated) to being told I was a horrible ‘mother’ for abandoning my child - that isn't even biologically mine.
Intended Parents through surrogacy deserve the right to have their children just like any other family. That includes the Kardashian-West family.
Who cares what you think about them.
Who cares what you think you know about them.
Because we don’t know them.
But we do know she could have died having another child.
We know she tried everything she could to avoid surrogacy.
And we certainly know it takes a very strong women to give another women the trust of loving + caring for her child for nine months.
Thanks for trusting our small community in expanding your family.
I can only hope we do not let the Kardashian-West family down.
I broke my silence earlier this week about the hell we’ve been through the last 18 months. My son was abandoned by his father and during all the legal battles, I couldn’t speak much about the situation. I plan to go into more detail but right now, I just want to celebrate Father’s Day.
Last year we were with my boyfriend’s family and just tried to distract my son during Father’s Day activities. We did not celebrate my boyfriend because he wasn’t his father. His biological father’s abandonment was still new but luckily there were so many new friends around that he didn’t seem to notice too much. I still appreciated his special role but he wasn’t “dad” and I did not want to force that on my boyfriend or my son. He had only lived in NC with us for 4 days when Father’s Day arrived. So, we just ignored the day and distracted him as much as possible while we surrounded him with love.
So right then it was decided. We were celebrating Father’s Day. We went to the store a few days later to find the perfect card and hunted everywhere for the “Papa” cards – just for him. Then we stumbled finding the perfect gift.
For the last three years, I have appreciated the special bond these two have had but the last year has been amazing to see how it has evolved. He took the kiddos – my son and two older nieces – on a movie date yesterday morning. He takes him to go Pokémon hunting. He jumps in the pool to swim with him even when the water is 78* and no adults want to jump in. He handles dinner, homework, bath and bedtime without a complaint if I have too much work to do or I am out for an event.
This Father’s day we’re celebrating three dads as we head to the beach. My father, my brother-in-law and now my boyfriend.
Thanks Dads for loving these children and a special thank you to the men who love children that weren’t theirs from birth, but are theirs now.
Would you ever swim with sharks? One of my BIGGEST bucket list items is to one day swim with the sharks - but definitely in a protective cage!
In 47 Meters Down, Lisa (Mandy Moore) is ready for adventure while on vacation in Mexico after a devastating break-up,. Even still, she needs a little extra persuasion when her daring sister Kate (Claire Holt) suggests they go shark diving with some locals. Once underwater in a protective cage, Lisa and Kate catch a once in a lifetime, face-to-face look at majestic Great Whites.
But when their worst fears are realized and the cage breaks away from their boat, they find themselves plummeting to the bottom of the seabed, too deep to radio for help without making themselves vulnerable to the savage sharks, their oxygen supplies rapidly dwindling. 47 METERS DOWN is a terrifying tale of survival set in the domain of the ocean’s fiercest creatures.
So it makes me want to question if swimming with the sharks is for me!
Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures is hosting a special
advanced screening of “47 METERS DOWN."
When? Tuesday, June 13th at 7:30pm
Where? Regal Phillips Place.
(6911 Phillips Pl Ct, Charlotte, NC 28210)
How? You must download a screening
pass to attend. Download instructions are
below – one pass is good for you and a guest:
To Download An Admit-Two Screening Pass Go To: http://www.gofobo.com/47MDCharlotteHousewives
*Please note: passes do NOT guarantee seats at the screening.
The theater is over-booked to ensure capacity and seating is filled on a first-come,
first-serve basis. Guests are encouraged to arrive early.
Ticket-holder and guest must enter the auditorium together.
* I recommend arriving around 6:00-6:15
If you want the nerdy deets - Check below!
47 METERS DOWN (Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures)
Release Date: Friday, June 16, 2017 (Wide)
Rating: PG-13, for sequences of intense peril, bloody images, and brief strong language
Running Time: 89 Minutes
Directed by: Johannes Roberts
Written by: Johannes Roberts and Ernest Riera
Cast: Mandy Moore, Claire Holt, Matthew Modine
Trailer & Official Site: http://47metersdownmovie.com/
Social: @47MetersDown (Facebook & Instagram) / @47MDown (Twitter)
Publicity Materials: www.EPK.TV
Are you hunting the perfect Summer Camp?!
Charlotte Housewives has put together a guide of some of the unique, different and must go to camps for your kiddos this summer.
Don't let the kids sit at home, send them out to learn about science, new sports, dance or find their artistic bone!
Charlotte Day Camp
Hornets Day Camp
Hornets Hoops feature stations, drills, competitive games, contests, special guest speakers, a Hornets ticket, and exclusive Hornets gear! Join the Hornets this for a safe, fun, and memorable experience!
CAMP FEATURES (general outline, subject to vary by camp)
- 4-Days, 9 a.m-4 p.m., ages 7-14, co-ed
- Skills Stations, Breakdown Drills, and Instructional Lectures
- Competitive Games
- Qualified Coaches
- Guest Speakers
- Camp Swag Bag
Miller STreet Dance Co.
Ages 3–8 Dance camps are four days long and include a variety of activities - arts & crafts, cheer, dance, tumbling, games, and more! A little bit of everything and a whole lot of fun! Campers will be divided by age for various activities.
Ages 9-12 “Totally You” Pre-Teen Camp is four days of intensive dance training, exploring various styles of dance from Lyrical and Jazz to Acrobatics and HipHop, and more! It doesn’t stop with dance training. We will spend a portion of the day learning the basics of etiquette that every young lady needs to know!
Baxter Village Location in Fort Mill, SC - 803-396-5299
Providence Road Location in Charlotte, NC - 704-889-8637
Dish It Out Pottery
2017 Summer Camp Dates:
At Dish It Out we offer summer art camps for children ages 7 and up. We introduce children to a variety of forms of art, such as pottery painting, canvas painting, mosaics and more. We work on multiple art projects each day and give children a hands-on approach to different forms of art. Summer Art Camp is all about self-expression, creativity and fun!
COST FOR CAMP (PER WEEK) $199.00.
We had such a great time at our GNO at Whiskey Warehouse! If you missed it, we hope to see you at our next GNO at Peculiar Rabbit!
Here are the vendors you met at our GNO event. I hope you enjoy.
We had such a great time at our GNO at Dave and Busters! It was a little rainy (okay a lot rainy) but the drinks and company was a lot of fun!
If you missed it, we hope to see you at our next GNO!!
Here are the vendors you met at our GNO event. I hope you enjoy.
Join Charlotte Housewives and Host Lauren from Kiss 95.1 for a FREE Girls Night Out event at Studio Movie Grill on Wednesday, April 12th starting at 6pm.
Start the night off with us from 6-7 for complimentary wine. The FREE advanced screening of Unforgettable The Movie featuring Katherine Heigl starts at 7:30pm.
BONUS: First 25 guests to arrive will receive an EXCLUSIVE GIFT BAG!
FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A PAIR OF TICKETS COMPLETE THE RAFFLECOPTER BELOW!
This film has been rated R for sexual content, violence, some language, and brief partial nudity.
Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive Early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking.
*You must be 21+ to drink. Government issued photo ID is required at the bar.
IN THEATERS APRIL 21
Fine print: Seating is first come, first served and limited. This event is slightly overbooked. Please arrive early to guarantee your seat.