As of 9:28 we have a 4-year-old.
4 years. How has it been that long!?! How are you 4 years old already, GG???
God placed you in my life and in my arms that day 4 years ago and I’m so thankful that He let you stay with us. You had my heart before you even took your first breath. I know that I’ve never done anything in my life to deserve YOU, just as I’ve done nothing to deserve God’s ultimate sacrifice and forgiveness and I will be thankful my entire life for YOU, our miracle.
You are smart - the smartest little "big" boy I know. You understand so much and the things you don't "get" just yet you strive to understand until you do. You are kind and compassionate, loving and caring - you love saying "I love you" and giving hugs and kisses. You are stubborn - you know what you want and you don’t let anything hold you back. You are handsome - the most beautiful little boy I’ve seen in my entire life. You have such an amazingly sarcastic sense of humor - a perfect mix between mommie and daddy.
YOU are my heart. I would walk through fire for you. The day you were born was the day that I began to fully live. I am so proud of the little "big" boy that you have become and so excited to see the bigger boy you will grow into. It breaks my heart when you talk about getting bigger and being as big as daddy because I know that that day will come so much sooner than I'm prepared for, but I know that we are raising a man that will be so much more than even we can imagine.
Before you were born, this was (and will always be) my prayer for you:
“God, I pray that Gregory is independent, that he is a leader among men. I pray for integrity. I pray that he has a heart for YOU and a heart for others, that he would help those in need. That he would stand up for his beliefs. I pray that he would also stand up for those that cannot do so for themselves. That he would be kind, gentle, loving and firm. Lord, I pray for his happiness. I pray that he does mighty and wondrous things in Your name.” I will never be able to express to you just how much my love for you is! I love you as much as the sky and more. I love you to the moon and back x infinity!!
All my love,
This morning began like any other. We got out of bed, had breakfast (and coffee for me, of course). My son, GG, wanted to watch Dino Dan, I typically don't let him watch television so early in the day. I gave in so that I could finish crocheting a blanket for a fellow HITC/photographer friend's baby boy. I took a minute to run to the restroom, a few seconds later GG comes into the bathroom, and this my dear readers is when my day took a turn from normal....
"The styrofoam is gone." His head was tilted and something about the way he said this caused an icy fist to form around my stomach and pull it down. I think I already knew how this was going to play out.
"GG, what do you mean? Where is it?"
"In my ear." He says this as he starts to place a finger in his ear.
"DON'T. Don't touch." I say on the verge of flipping out. I finished washing my hands and told myself that I wouldn't panic. It couldn't be that bad. I mean, it had only been a few seconds...
Before my son was born I prayed that he would be a leader among men. I prayed for him to have integrity and a heart for God and others. I prayed that he would help those in - and that he would stand up for others, those that maybe cannot do so for themselves, as well as for his own beliefs. I prayed for him to be kind, loving, gentle yet firm. I prayed for him to do mighty and wondrous things in God's name.
Within his first year of life I began witnessing some of these things come into fruition and through his short three years here on this earth I've seen it multiple. Just last week, as I was walking him into school he turned to me and said, "Stay here mommie." I was shocked. "Stay here?" I asked, "Stay here mommie." he repeated, this time throwing his hands in front of me to stop me. I stood baffled. He took his lunch box from me, slung his backpack - which is as big as he is I might add - over his back and walked himself into the gym at school. Of course I walked behind him and made sure the teacher knew he was there. How was this happening? He only turned 3 in April! As the tears stung my eyes I made my way back to my car before breaking down. I was so proud and so sad at the same time. How could my little boy be so independent? But he is, fiercely so. In all honestly, he's been independent since he could crawl, so this shouldn't have been a surprise. He has to do everything himself, if you help him and he doesn't ask for it he will do it (whatever it is) all over again.
He is determined and knows what he wants, but he is loving and kind. Last week we went out to eat at a small establishment we've been going to for years. The owner let my son, GG, play with his son's toy. When his son returned i could tell that he wanted his toy back. GG, being the 3 year old that he is, did not want to give up said toy. "It's my toy." He said while looking defiantly at his dad and I. In my head I'm thinking, "... here we go, full on meltdown on the way.." I explained to him that the toy was in fact the little boy's. That the little boy let him play with it. My son took this all in and you could see his mind working around this, trying to understand. Finally it clicked. He got down and walked halfway to the owner of the toy, but then came back. Again, I explained and pointed out how nice it had been for him to share his toy. This time GG walked to the table where the little boy sat. Again he walked back to us with the toy. A few minutes later my son walked back to the table where the toy's little owner was sitting and place the toy on the table, he turned back to us and got halfway before he began crying. My husband swooped him up and we praised him. Needless to say we took him to the store to pick out a toy!! Here's the thing - at 3 years old it took him a few times, but he got it and he wanted to do the right thing even though it was extremely hard for him to do. At 3 years old he has more integrity than some adults I'm come across in life.
I'm raising a leader. A strong-willed (wild) child. He never stops. He pushes and questions everything. Everything seems to turn into a fight at some point or another. That's when my husband points out, "You prayed for this." Yes, yes, I did. I prayed for this wonderful, determined, strong willed, wild, sweet, loving, silly little future leader. I wouldn't have him any other way. He is perfection to me even on the days where I feel like I'm failing as a mother - when I'm tired and frustrated and feel like I'm doing it all wrong. All he has to do is give me a smile or wrap his little arms around me for a hug and nothing else matters. He is everything I prayed for and more and I cannot wait to see the man he becomes. Until then I will remember to enjoy every single moment.
To the natural moms, those that carried their babies in their tummies. To the mommas that needed a segregate, because not everyone can carry a baby. To the adoptive mommas, like me. To the birth mommas, some of us wouldn't be what we are without you! To the foster mommas, you do so much and I hope you know how very special you are! To the furbaby mommas, don't anyone tell you just being a furbaby momma is any less special! To the step-mommas, those that don't have to love someone else's child, but do anyway. To the mommas who have lost a child in the womb, you may not exactly feel like a mom, but honey you are, you loved that baby with all you had and that my dear is the definition of mother-hood.
Last, but definitely not least - to the woman waiting. I've been in your shoes, I was there for 13 (long) years. Your time will come. It may seem like forever, but that moment that you hold/hug your child for the first time all of those years will wash away. It will all be worth it. Your heart and soul will get to rejoice in the love of motherhood - just don't give up. It isn't easy, but nothing with worth is. Sometimes you'll want to give up. Sometimes it will feel like you've tried all you can. Sometimes you'll want to shut your heart to the hope and especially to the pain. It's okay and perfectly normal to feel like you're on a roller coaster. You may even find yourself envying your momma friends - don't put yourself down for feeling that way. You're human and you can't be strong every second of every day. You may not even feel strong at all, but I can tell you, YOU ARE. Hang in there lady, keep your head up! One day you'll look back and be able to see how all the pieces were placed together like they were for a reason. One day you'll look back and see just how strong this venture made you. One day you'll be there to support other mommies-in-waiting. One day you'll realize that all you went through makes you appreciate motherhood so much more than you ever would have without it.
I apologize for being late ladies, but I do have a good reason! My two guys took me to Disney for the weekend. We stayed away from facebook, email and texting. The only thing I used my phone for was the Disney app and to take pictures and it was amazing. It felt so good to unplug from the outside world for a little bit!
Two years ago my only real experience with asthma had been few friends and my sweet little Chihuahua, Dink. Then the month after my son, GG, turned a year old (May of 2015) our personal journey with this breath taker began. What started as a cough and some raspy breathing turning into wheezing and my little guy gasping to get air. It was his first emergency visit. We were terrified and didn't know exactly what the culprit was, but the one thing I knew was that in a matter of hours my baby went from breathing normally to breathing fast, hard and struggling. At the hospital it was confirmed possible, but due to his age it wasn't official. At our follow up appointment we were told to keep him inside, given a plan of action and another follow up appointment three weeks later. Three weeks came and he could have breathing treatments spaced out more and was allowed outside for short periods for another month.
Over that first year it was off and on. He got hit with it hard again a month before his second birthday. Then for almost eight months it seemed to go dormant. During the past year it's been ear infections that we seem to be battling more or so I thought until we rounded a corner in life and ran smack back into the little air sucker - asthma. Two week ago GG broke out in a rash and had a terrible time breathing. We ended up back in the ER. Unlike the first time, at this point, he'd already been officially diagnosed and we knew in part what we were dealing with. A respiratory therapist took time to come in and really schooled us on asthma. We learned things that the primary care doctors had never told us.
I wanted to share all of this information with any and everyone. See, for me, I knew that asthma was dangerous, I knew that it could be deadly, but the gravity of how bad it is even when they're having an attack and you don't know it, is something I never thought about. For instance, a child can be wheezing even if you don't hear it. Did you know that? I didn't!
If you or someone you know has a child with asthma, wrap your head around this - asthma kills over 3,000 Americans every year. Sometimes asthma is set off by viral infections, pollen, exposure to animals, or exercise. More Americans than ever before have asthma — about 24 million people in the U.S. have asthma. It is one of the most common and costly diseases.
I knew that wheezing, coughing and shortness of breath were from asthma, it's the most common talked about symptoms, BUT did you know that the following are symptoms as well:
Did you also know that you can go weeks, months or years with no symptoms. It doesn't mean that you no longer have asthma. It just means that you haven't been triggered. Asthma DOES NOT go away, there is NO cure.
Do you know what happens when someone is having an asthma attack?
During the asthma attack, the muscles tighten around your airways and, the lining of the airways become swollen or inflamed and thicker mucus -- more than normal -- is produced.
There should ALWAYS be a plan of action that anyone who may keep your child has on hand. Notice I said on hand. Instructions should be written down step-by-step and you should always go over it step-by-step with them as well. Make a copy for grandparent's homes, school, your house, the babysitter -- everyone!
Seek medical help immediately for:
I don't have to tell you how important your child is. See that little guy? He's my heart and I would never forgive myself if something happened to him from my lack of information. He will be three next month and it's still a struggle. I'm over protective and I'm okay with that. Knowing how deadly asthma can be I'd rather be safe then have anything happen to him that could be avoided.
Please share this with anyone you feel may need to know. It may save a life. I pray that the information I've included gets to those who could need it.
Hello! I’m Hilarie!
I am a wife, mother, an assistant, and now a blogger! I am so exciting to relaunch Jacksonville Housewives in the city.
I love the beach, coffee, marketing and meeting new friends. I cannot wait to meet y’all!